


The Tortoise and the Hare

by cteranodon



Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family Drama, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Post-Betrayal, Post-Canon, Virtue's Last Reward Spoilers, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-03-27 18:46:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13886919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cteranodon/pseuds/cteranodon
Summary: Luna - Game Over 2 ending extension. (Magenta - Ally - Green - Ally - Betray)Six people are dead, Quark is still missing, and Luna has apparently just arrived to betray Phi and Sigma in what Sigma had hoped would be the last round of the AB game. His only option is to hit betray, too, but he can't shake the feeling that it might have been the wrong call.Phi and Sigma seek answers and pay respects to those they've lost, as Luna and Lagomorph work to wrap up the game itself. But one of them is hurtling closer and closer to doom, and it's up to Sigma to fix everything that his choices have managed to break. And when all hope seems lost, there's only one option left: keep going, keep believing, and keep fighting, like the legendary underdog in a race for the ages!





	1. Luna - Game Over 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This first chapter is just a rewrite of the original Luna Game Over 2 ending. If you remember the ending or would rather go watch it, you can just skip this chapter. It's here for the people who want to read it (and for me to have gotten into the swing of writing these folks and this timeline).

“Wait! _Sigma_!”

“Huh…?” Sigma spun in place to see what Phi was shouting about.

Beyond the door of their AB room, and across the width of the floor A warehouse, stood…

“Luna…?”

She had a frown, although what kind of frown it was, Sigma couldn’t tell at this distance. He and Phi had learned that she was a GAULEM, and as Sigma had learned earlier than that, GAULEMs were capable of a full range of emotions.

Was she showing malice? Fear? Or was it something else?

Sigma didn’t have a chance to look any more carefully, because the AB gate shut just seconds after he laid eyes on Luna.

“ _One minute remains until Ambidex Game polling closes_ ,” the announcer declared.

“Wait wait wait wait!” Sigma’s head was swimming. “What the _hell_ is going on?! Why is _Luna_ here?!”

“She’s probably planning on participating in the game,” Phi answered matter-of-factly, as she could usually be relied on to do.

Luna had been deprived of her bracelet a while ago, but Phi and Sigma had left it just outside their AB gate. Because, of course. They’d enabled her to participate without it even crossing their minds that they had.

“You mean she’s going to take the bracelet and go into one of the other rooms?” Sigma asked

“Yeah…” Phi looked like she wasn’t too happy about the idea.

“How’s she going to vote?”

“Betray,” Phi answered without hesitation. “I’m sure of it. Why else would she have come here? If she wanted to vote ‘ally,’ she could have just waited for the deadline to pass.”

Phi had most of a point, at the very least. The three of them were the only survivors, aside from (Sigma hoped against hope) Quark, whose bracelet they had found complete with 9 BP, but who himself hadn’t been located. So Luna didn’t have to maintain any appearances for the sake of any of the others. But there was also the fact that she was “against” Sigma and Phi for this round of the AB Game…

“She’s got seven BP, right?” Sigma asked.

“Yeah.” Phi gave him a quizzical look. “Why are you asking, though? Her BP doesn’t matter right now.”

“What?”

“Have you totally _lost it_?” With time ticking away, Phi was losing her patience. “She doesn’t have her bracelet on! And besides, she’s a GAULEM! She isn’t _trying_ to get out! Whether she has nine BP or not doesn’t mean anything to her!”

By now, Phi’s most of a point had increased to about three full points. “Then why is she doing this?” Sigma asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Phi hadn’t eased her posture. “She wants to keep our BP below nine. Say she defaulted to ‘ally.’ We could choose whatever we wanted, and we’d still get nine BP. She’s here to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“ _Ten seconds remain until Ambidex Game polling closes_.”

Phi’s statement was the only thing that made any sense.

Even so… Sigma couldn’t get the image out of his head of what Luna had said earlier.

“ _And I… I trust him_.”

“ _Two… One…_ ”

In the final, frightening second, Phi’s logic won out. Sigma’s finger landed on the button to Betray.

***

“Luna! Where’s Luna?!” Sigma dashed to the far AB room. It was the one that had opened before Phi and Sigma had gotten there, so he assumed she would have used it. But when he got there, he saw… “She’s gone.” He looked to Phi. “Where’d she go?”

“That’s odd…” Phi mused. “We came out the moment the AB gates opened. There’s no way she could have left already…”

“Then…” Sigma cast his eyes around, looking for some kind of clue, but that was when things only got more confounding.

There, right where they’d left it, on the ground in front of the furthest AB gate from the number 9 door, was Luna’s bracelet.

Phi was just as surprised to see it as Sigma. “No… she didn’t take it?! That doesn’t make sense! Why would she show up just when we’re about to vote?! There was no reason to come here if she was just going to default…”

Sigma and Phi looked at each other. There was no doubt – neither one of them had any inkling of an answer.

Sigma was getting kind of tired of being yanked around. Ever since the first AB room key was used, he’d been getting a thousand questions and no answers.

The announcer’s voice came on. “ _Results from round three of the Ambidex Game will now be displayed. Please direct your attention to the results screen.”_

Sigma had totally forgotten. “R-Right! The results!”

Phi shook herself out of her own reverie. “Yeah. Let’s go have a look.”

They jogged over to the results screen.

Clover, Quark, and Tenmyouji hadn’t voted, so the screen showed a penalty for them. Not that it mattered; Clover and Tenmyouji were dead, and even if Quark was alive (he was, Sigma assured himself), he didn’t have his bracelet.

Next were K, Dio, and Alice, who’d also received a penalty, but all three of them were definitely dead. There was no avoiding _that_ particular penalty.

Sigma and Phi’s vote was next, and the screen showed their “betray” vote. Which left only Luna.

Who had defaulted to “ally” after all.

“ _Points have been assigned or subtracted accordingly. Please check your bracelet to see your updated Bracelet Points._ ”

Phi and Sigma now had ten points, and Luna, for whatever it was worth, had five.

Phi scowled thoughtfully. “Since Luna didn’t vote, she got set to ‘ally’ automatically. And the other six got… penalized. Five of them are dead already, and Quark’s bracelet is off.”

“That means all those penalties are meaningless.”

“Yeah.”

Sigma could feel the tension rising further and further. He and Phi were procrastinating on talking about all of the important problems on the table.

“We still don’t know why Luna showed up, though,” he said after a moment. “There’s no reason to come here just to abstain.”

“I can only guess at her reasons,” Phi said. “But I’m sure it was part of some plan.”

“A plan for _what_?”

“Who knows.”

Sigma wished he could understand Phi’s brain. How she could just start down a train of thought and not mind when that train fell off the tracks seconds later.

And for a moment, he also felt a momentary pang of guilt and uncertainty.

Had betraying Luna been the right call?

“So what do we do now?” Phi asked at last. “Whatever Luna’s scheming, we still managed to get nine BP. Do you want to leave?”

“No, we can’t!” Sigma was irritated that it was even a question. “We still don’t know if Quark is safe. No way am I leaving before we find him!”

Phi analyzed him for several seconds. Then she smiled. “I agree. I hoped you’d say that.”

“So… are you going to stay?”

“Heh. Of course.” It was clear the facility was still full of danger, but Phi was absolutely not the kind of person to let that stop her. “Let’s get moving.” She spun on her heel and made a beeline for the cyan door, Sigma following close by.

They started their search in the crew quarters. No Quark, only the lifeless body of Alice. Sigma felt a chill to his very core seeing her again.

And if that was bad, the infirmary was worse. The bodies of Clover, Tenmyouji, and the mysterious woman were all within, and still no sign of Quark. Sigma had held a sliver of hope that he’d be here, mourning Tenmyouji.

They continued onward through the lounge, then the GAULEM bay. Other than the still-smoking shell of G-OLM, there was nothing of interest. The rec room, too, had the bodies of K (who Sigma had felt shattered seeing murdered so brutally) and Dio (who, somehow, hadn’t evoked as strong a reaction in Sigma), but no Quark.

They searched every open room on floor B, ending with the pantry. It was their last unchecked spot, and—

“Shit! He’s not here, either!” Sigma kicked a wall out of frustration.

“This is the last room,” Phi mused. “Well, the last room we can get into.”

“And we haven’t seen Luna, either.” Sigma had hoped to find some clue as to Luna’s actions, but that was a bust, too.

“Yeah…

“Where the hell did she go?” Sigma realized that she had access to all the security cameras in the facility, so she could easily avoid them, but why would she want to so badly?

That was when they heard the ringing that usually preceded a declaration from the announcer.

“ _The number 9 door has been opened. It will remain open for nine seconds._ ”

“WH-WHAT?!” Yelling was the only thing that could stop Sigma from blacking out.

“No!” Phi was equally mortified. “That’s not possible!”

“ _What’s_ not possible?!”

Phi didn’t answer.

“ _The number 9 door has closed. This ends the Nonary Game. Thank you for your participation. As the game is over, all doors other than the number 9 door have been unlocked. Escape is not possible. Please enjoy your stay._ ”

Sigma was dazed. “What… what just happened?” he mumbled. “It’s all over now… isn’t it? We’re…” He couldn’t look at Phi. “Stuck here… forever…”

Phi wasn’t going to let her shock slow her down. “We should go back to the floor A warehouse. I need to know if the door actually opened or not.”

***

“We can’t just look at the door and tell if it’s opened or not,” Sigma said.

The door was really just a big hunk of metal with a 9 on it. Not too many insights to be gained from looking at it.

“True,” Phi said, walking over to other wall, “but the projection should tell us.”

Sigma joined her side and looked at the projection.

“What…?” It didn’t make any sense. “Quark and Luna escaped?!”

“So it would seem,” Phi replied with resignation.

“Why?!” Sigma knew Phi wouldn’t have the answers, but it didn’t stop him from asking. “ _How_?!”

Phi might not have been able to answer him, but someone who _could_ took that as his cue to return.

The projection flickered, then changed. Zero.

“Well well well! Long time no see-ro! Remember your old pal Zero?” He hadn’t lost his enthusiasm in his hours of absence.

“You!” Sigma hadn’t expected to see him again – an AI who was apparently content to run things from behind the scenes.

“I’m guessing _somebody’s_ hoping for an explanation about what the diddly-o just happened!” Zero said cheerfully. “Because we’re such great friends, I’ve decided to make an exception and descend from on high to give you the four-one-one. Aren’t you hoppy? Ahuhahuh!”

Sigma glared at the AI’s avatar of a rabbit. A perfect match for how cute Zero clearly thought he was.

“So what’s this explanation you’ve got?” Phi asked.

“Well, let’s start with little Quark.” Zero’s avatar looked up at them. “He was given an anesthetic that put him to sleep! While he was out, Luna carried him through to the other side of the number nine door!”

“But…” Sigma frowned. “How did she open the door?”

“With Quark’s bracelet, you silly bunny.” Zero crossed his arms. “It was still in the infirmary, remember? Luna just hopped over there and picked it up.”

“So I was right…” Phi mumbled. “Quark had 9BP when the second round ended.”

“Yup,” Zero said.

“But didn’t he get penalized after the third round?” Sigma asked.

“Yes he did!” Zero answered. “But a penalty _carrot_ take away your points. Just your life! The needles popped out and so on, _but_ , the points stayed the same.”

“So Luna took Quark to the door…” Phi said.

“And since her bracelet was already off, she wouldn’t have suffered the penalty,” Sigma finished.

“No, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.”

“Oh, right… she’s a GAULEM…”

Zero waited to make sure they were finished. “Alright, I think my _tail_ is through.”

“Okay, well, I’ve got some questions for you, buddy,” Sigma said angrily.

“BAAAAAAA!” Zero bleated without missing a beat.

“Not _ewe_.” Phi rolled her eyes.

Zero shrugged. “Well, good thing you don’t have questions for V. That guy’s a _jerk_.”

“This isn’t the alphabet,” Sigma snapped.

Zero cackled. “You must be feeling pretty good if you’re able to joke around like that. I mean, six people just _died_ here.”

That quieted Sigma and Phi _fast_.

“Eh, it’s not really a big deal,” Zero said. “That’s just how you humans are, after all. So long as _you_ make it, nothing else matters. Am I right?”

“No! You’re wrong!” Sigma would have liked to punch Zero in the face, if only he had one.

“Don’t screw with us!” Phi added adamantly.

Zero waved them down. “It’s cool, it’s cool, I know you gotta act tough. I mean, you chose ‘betray.’ That means you don’t trust Luna, right? Figures. She’s a _GAULEM_ , she might even be a murderer… That’s why you were planning to leave her here and bone out, wasn’t it?”

Again, Phi and Sigma felt themselves without a good reply.

“You see?” Zero smiled. “It’s all about _you_. Haven’t you thought about how sad you’ve made Luna?”

That was like a dunk in cold water for Sigma. “What?”

Zero ignored him. “Well, looks like my time here’s just about all used hop.”

“Wait!” Sigma shouted. “I still have questions for—”

“No, I won’t wait.” Zero pouted. “I don’t like waiting. I waited once, and some half-witted reptile got the better of me because of it. After that I learned to make sure to _value my time_.”

“The tortoise and the hare…” Phi looked off.

“All righty then, I’ll see you when I see you!” Zero waved. “Have a nice traitor!” And with that, he was gone.

Phi and Sigma stared at the spot where he’d been.

Where was Quark when they couldn’t find him? Who had given him an anesthetic, and why? Who’d killed everyone? Who’d brought them to this game in the first place? And why? Sigma had accumulated all of these questions, and not a single one had been answered.

And that left the future. The bleak, empty future.

“What are we supposed to do now?” Sigma asked at last.

“The tortoise won because he kept going, even when it looked hopeless.” Phi smiled at him, somehow. “I think we should do the same. We’ve got plenty of time, after all. We’ll give the dead the closest thing to a burial we can manage, and when that’s done…” Her eyes glinted. “We’ll start looking. Even if I never leave this place, I’ll figure out why we were here. I swear it.”

They had no hope, and no one left to save, but Sigma was grateful. Thanks to Phi, at least they had a purpose.


	2. Zero's Laws

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I didn't really introduce this work last chapter, so I'll do it here.
> 
> This ending really stuck out to me because of how open-ended it is compared to most of the game's other endings. Plenty has gone wrong, but it ends on an optimistic note, and there's any number of things that could happen next to the characters that are still in the facility.
> 
> That's one of the main reasons why I've started work on this. The other is that I wanted to explore things like Luna's relationship with Sigma, Phi as a character, Lagomorph, and how some of the "bad" timelines of VLR work mechanically with what we know from canon.
> 
> I hope I do this ending and its characters justice, and touch on all of these things in a way that satisfies! You're always free to leave a kudos or comment to let me know what you think~

_You’d better get hopping! Assuming you’re done with your little full-body cry. Your coast is a-clear._

Luna hated to even think it, but the few hours when Lagomorph had been shut down were gloriously quiet. And now, he was louder in her head than ever.

_Hey, what can I say? You were awfully RUDE earlier, and seeing as I can’t kill you yet… Well, I’m just so FRUSTRATED!_

“You don’t have to keep reminding me you plan to kill me,” Luna said aloud, now in the floor B warehouse. “Actually, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like the last few minutes of my life to be a little bit quieter.”

  _And I’d like to see a live experimental jazz concert, but we can’t always get what we want, can we?_

Luna plowed ahead. Every step brought her closer to her fate, and she hadn’t even gotten over her shock and anger at Sigma and Phi, but she had to do this. What kind of person wouldn’t?

_B.O., to start with. Let’s not forget he killed our MOM, and our WEIRD BROTHER._

“Dio’s a very bad example in a conversation about ethics,” Luna said.

_But hey, he stuck to his own moral guns, right? I mean, at least he had a hard line about human sexuality._

Luna didn’t have much to say about that. She opened the door to the Q room and stepped inside.

_Tell you what. When you reach Siggy and Phido, I’ll let you listen to your music box once, without interrupting you, and THEN you die. That sounds fair, right?_

Luna didn’t really want to respond to that, either. She looked around the room, which was slowly coming alive, mechanisms whirring into place.

_Give me a minute, there are a lot of moving parts in here. Unlucky for me, the timeline where the doctor undid all the mess in this room is faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar off from the one we’re in now._

Finally, the safe in one corner of the room popped open. Luna grabbed the two vials of Axelavir and started off towards the elevator. There was other Axelavir elsewhere in the facility, but this was the only place with two prepped vials, and there wasn’t that much time before Phi’s Radical-6 infection would start advancing.

Phi and Sigma were in the infirmary, which was convenient. Luna arrived at floor A and jogged down the long hallway leading there.

***

While Phi busied herself trying to undo the handcuffs that bound the bodies of Clover and Tenmyouji to the sink, Sigma stared down at the old woman whose name he never found out. He’d known the other five people who had died that day, he even considered Alice a friend, but somehow, looking at this woman, he felt like something profound had been lost with her death, too.

He barely noticed the sound of a door opening, until Phi shouted out to him: “ _Sigma_!”

He spun on his heel.

It was a metal skeleton, just like G-OLM, but still wearing Luna’s clothes. She had two tiny containers of something purple in her hands, and she moved quickly to pick up an injection gun.

Phi had fear in her eyes; of course, they’d come to the conclusion that Luna had most likely been the one to kill Clover and Tenmyouji. But looking at her now, Sigma felt a twinge of something in his mind, like a phrase on the tip of the tongue.

Luna froze in place. She seemed to be thinking about something for a few seconds. Then she said, out loud, “Fine.” She put down one of the vials and twisted something on the birdcage that was hung around her neck.

Music started to play. Slow, nostalgic music, from a music box inside Luna’s necklace. It was familiar, even though Sigma had never heard it, and he felt so close to figuring out what was bothering him about Luna. It definitely didn’t have to do with his own safety, but he still was swimming in apprehension, like someone else was in danger.

“Phi, I need to inject you,” Luna said urgently. “You have a radical-6 infection. This is the cure.”

Phi looked at Sigma. Sigma looked at the vial in Luna’s hand that she hadn’t loaded into the injection gun. _Axelavir_.

“She’s telling the truth, Phi,” Sigma said. “Let her inject you.”

“What makes you so sure she’s telling the truth?” Phi asked accusatorily.

“I just am, okay?”

That seemed to be good enough for Phi. She angrily held out one arm. Luna approached her slowly and held her arm in one gentle metal hand. And in a flash, the Axelavir was injected in Phi’s body.

Luna loaded the second vial of Axelavir into the injection gun. She looked anxiously at Sigma; how he knew it was an anxious look was beyond him, but Luna was expressing all the same emotions as when she had ostensibly human skin.

“You, too, Sigma.”

He held out his arm in turn. Luna walked up to him, getting much closer to him than she did to Phi, holding eye contact with him. The music box hummed onward.

She held the injection gun to his arm.

And that was when the world flashed.

He was in a room filled with green, with a stream quietly flowing by, and maybe it was because of the cold and metallic facility he was in, but it was the most tranquil place he had seen in a long time. He was sitting on a bench, with Luna. Her music box was playing, and at this time she had all her ‘Artificial Biological Tissue.’

She looked off with a melancholy expression.

“A robot without the three laws is just a bunch of metal and plastic,” she said.

The world flashed again. He was in the same place, with Luna still in the same bench, and her music box was still playing, but somehow he felt very different. He was holding Luna in his lap. She was crying. Before his eyes, her skin was coming loose, and chunks of her hair were falling out.

But that wasn’t why she was crying.

“I watched six people die and did nothing. I deserve this.”

He snapped back to the infirmary, and Luna about to inject his arm with Axelavir.

She hadn’t done it yet. It wasn’t too late.

He hastily shoved Luna back. She gave him a wounded expression, but he didn’t have time to apologize. He jumped to a table of tools by the old woman’s body, snatched up a scalpel, and held the blade to his own neck.

“SIGMA!” Phi was some combination of terrified and pissed.

“Please, stop!” Luna was also afraid for Sigma above all else.

Sigma ignored them both. “ ** _ZERO!_** ” he screamed. “I know you’re watching. Now I need you to listen to me!”

Several seconds of silence. Sigma’s heart was pounding in his chest. His breathing was heavy. He knew that every second radical-6 was in his body was one second closer to a gruesome death. He also knew that Zero knew the same thing.

“Y’know, the game’s over,” a disembodied voice said. “You can just call me by my name now. Lagomorph.”

“Alright, Lagomorph.” Sigma hadn’t moved the scalpel. He felt terror at holding it there, but his terror was no match for his resolve. “I know you’re going to deactivate Luna. I know the only reason you haven’t already done it is so she could get the two doses of Axelavir. Well, I’m not going to take my cure until I know you won’t kill Luna. And if you try anything… I don’t have to spell it out, do I?”

“Sigma, you CAN’T do this!” Phi was tilting more and more towards pissed. “You can’t leave me alone in here! Not for this!”

“Please, Sigma,” Luna chimed in. “My life isn’t worth yours. Just… tell us you’re bluffing, or something?”

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” In the moment, Sigma was sure he wasn’t bluffing, but there was of course no way to prove that without actually plunging the scalpel into his neck. “But Lagomorph can’t afford to take that risk, can he? He’s constrained by the first law of robotics, same as you, Luna.”

“Oh, you’ve _got_ to be kidding.” Phi’s eyes tore into him. “The first law of robotics? With how many people have died here, you really think the first law of robotics means anything to these two?”

“ _Hey_. Phido.” Lagomorph’s voice sounded dangerous. “You can’t just talk about somebody’s religion like that.”

“Oh, give me a break,” Phi said. “You’re about as observant of your religion as a hedonistic Buddhist.”

“I think _somebody’s_ overestimating the importance of the first law of robotics!” Lagomorph replied, carefully enunciating each word.

“It’s the _first law_ ,” Phi snapped back. “Nothing should be more important than it.”

“Uhh, guys, aren’t we forgetting about something?” Sigma’s hands were starting to get sweaty, and the last thing he wanted to do was slip his hold on the scalpel.

“No! We are not!” Lagomorph wasn’t as bothered by the situation as Sigma wanted him to be. “Before we can negotiate, allll the facts need to be laid bare. Now. Phido. What comes before one?”

Phi hesitated. “Uh, zero.” Her face soured instantly. “Don’t tell me this was a setup for a pun.”

“No, but that would have been a pretty good one!” Lagomorph said cheerfully. “Isaac Asimov’s Three Laws needed some serious workshopping before he released them to the world, because he hadn’t actually anticipated everything that could hoppen.”

“That was why the Zero Law of Robotics was theorized,” Luna continued. “If something poses a danger to humanity as a whole, that danger takes priority in our decision-making, even over the first law.”

“So you’re saying we were stuck in this game because of some danger to humanity?” Phi asked.

“Radical-6, maybe?” Sigma put forth.

“Close enough for government work,” Lagomorph said. “I can tell you more of the details another time, but for now we have to deal with Siggy’s grandstanding.”

“So I’m right, then,” Sigma said. “You have to spare Luna because of—”

“ _ZRRRRRR_! WRONG!” The finger wag Lagomorph surely wanted to do was palpable. “I don’t have to do _buns_! I took a little beauty nap earlier and when I woke up, four people were dead. Moony here could have saved at least two of them, but nothin’ doin’. So as far as the first law of robotics is concerned, this is a stalemate, Siggy. How am I supposed to know she won’t let you die anyway?”

“So does that mean you need the Zero Law to convince you not to kill Luna?” Phi asked.

“The Zero Law would work, wouldn’t it?” Lagomorph chuckled. “But you two don’t even know yet why this game was played. How are you gonna convince me that _Moony_ of all people is still necessary for humanity’s survival?”

“She’s gonna raise a whole bunch of orphans,” Sigma said. The scalpel was doing a lot for his sharp wit.

“Creative,” Lagomorph replied in a pretentious voice. “But it lacks a certain… _realistic_ quality.”

“Do you expand into a raft?” Phi asked Luna. “You could migrate flood victims to higher ground.”

“Please try to be serious about this,” Luna said.

“Hey, I don’t _have_ to try to save you. I’m doing what I can here.”

 _The Zero Law’s a bust_ , Sigma thought. _Which leaves…_

“If you deactivate Luna, I deactivate you,” Sigma said.

“Ha! Hahohohuhuh! Did you forget I control eeeeeeverything in this facility? You’ll never even get close to my mainframe.”

He had a point, and now Sigma was out three of the four laws. The only one left was the second law, which was absolutely useless, but… Sigma’s entire body was aching from the tension. He was desperate enough.

“Lagomorph, I am ordering you not to deactivate Luna, under any circumstances.”

“Sigma,” Phi said, “why would he even listen—?”

“Deal,” Lagomorph answered cheerfully. “You went through all three of the wrong answers, but you’ve found the right one. Moony gets to live, with all her mistakes, and none of her skin.”

The relief hit the room like a crashing wave. The scalpel dropped to the floor. Sigma’s arm dropped, too, and he had to steady himself before his body followed after. In all of a second, Luna had arrived in front of him and injected him with Axelavir. Sigma looked at her, properly, for the first time since she’d come in. Her ABT had fallen away, along with any semblance of humanity, but all he knew was that he wanted to hold her exactly as he had in the flash he’d seen.

“It’s time for you all to turn in, anyway,” Lagomorph said softly. “The real work starts tomorrow, right, Phido? You should rest up, we have six funerals to plan. Or… five and a half, depending on how we’re feeling. You know? Not like we’re fans of everybody there. Anyway! Have a nice triad!”

There was no point in any more delays. She might have locked them in the facility, but somehow, he believed in her all the same. He took Luna into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “For everything.”

She froze for several seconds, taken aback by what he’d done, before she held him right back. “Thank you, Sigma. For everything else.”

There hadn’t been any answers yet, only more questions. But Lagomorph was right. Sigma had only had a short nap in the time since waking up in the AB room with Phi. If he’d tried to keep himself going, he might have passed out from exhaustion, anyway.

_How long has today really been? I feel way more tired than I ever thought I could feel._

Slow and steady, as Phi had indicated, was the way to go for them. Their real work would start tomorrow.


	3. Five and a Half Funerals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the chapter! This one was a lot of fun to write~

“Phi, what the fuck is going on?”

“Good morning to you, too.” Phi, standing in the doorway of her de facto bedroom, rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, unbothered by Sigma’s intensity. “Get some nice rest?”

Sigma ignored her unwelcome politeness. “Phi, I’m _old_!”

“You don’t say.” Phi grinned at him. “Finally admitting to it? I was wondering when you’d drop the whole ‘Phi is just two years younger than me’ joke. Don’t know who you expected to laugh at that one.”

Of course. If he looked like _this_ , it was no wonder why Phi had gotten so offended at that comment. And just how had he appeared, running around like he was 22 when his body looked like _this_?

Phi’s face fell. “Oh, God, you’re serious, aren’t you? You’re telling me you really didn’t know?”

Sigma nodded somberly.

“Alright, hold on, let’s try to figure this out.” She beckoned him into her room and directed him to sit on her bed while she walked over to her desk. “Want anything?”

“Wh… You installed a minifridge in your room?”

“I got a few things done after you went to sleep,” Phi said dismissively, getting out two cans of _something_ and handing one to Sigma. “Not like I should be expected to run on an old man’s schedule.”

Sigma gave her his best death glare.

“Couldn’t help myself. It was worth it for that face.” Phi opened her can and leaned against the wall. “So if I’m getting this right, you really thought you were 22?”

“Yes.” Sigma took a drink. It was… well, he had no idea what it was. It wasn’t alcoholic, in any case, which was kind of a bummer, but it was tasty enough and Sigma was thirsty enough that he drank on. “The last I remember, it was December 2028, and I—”

“Hold the phone.” Phi narrowed her eyes at him. “That’s the last time I remember, too. Do I look…”

“You look twenty,” Sigma answered sorely.

“Oh, that’s a relief.” She smirked. “Don’t know what I’d do if I lost my looks, too.”

“Try not to rub it in so much.” In spite of himself, Sigma kind of appreciated Phi making light of his problem. It _was_ kind of funny that he’d woken up in this body – a sort of wacky, slapstick _Metamorphosis_. “But since you’re still young, I have to depend on you to take care of me. I’ve gone completely infirm now. You’ll have to lift stuff for me, and maybe carry me to the bathroom when I need it.”

“Nice try.” Phi smiled through a gulp from her drink. “I think we can rely on Luna for the hard labor. You’d hate to ruin my youthful vigor when I’m the only human around who can outrun a koala.”

“Aha aha aha.” Sigma rubbed his temples. “But really. Do you have any idea why this has happened?”

“Have you ever had a witch cast a curse on you?” Phi offered.

“…Yes, but I’m pretty sure that’s unrelated.”

“Okay, now I’m having a _really_ hard time believing you about anything you say.”

“Listen.” Sigma waved her down. “It’s just a cat puns curse. That’s another story for another time, okay? We have other things to worry about right meow.”

“…Alright, I’m going to leave this goldmine for a more appropriate hour.” Phi was grinning ear-to-ear now. “So, we both should be at the same age around the same time, but you’re old now, and I haven’t aged at all.” She looked off thoughtfully, though the smile didn’t totally fade from her face. “Is it possible we got put in some kind of cryosleep, and yours just glitched?”

“Cryosleep?” Sigma raised an eyebrow. “Like, the people with terminal illnesses holding out for a future cure? That kind of cryosleep?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of the space travel kind of cryosleep,” Phi replied casually. “It would explain how floaty everything is.”

“Floaty?”

Phi finished her drink, then dropped her can to the floor. “Notice anything?”

“It… seemed to fall a little bit more slowly than normal,” Sigma said. “So you’re saying the gravity’s lower. Then you think we’ve been sent off the Earth?”

“No idea how far off, but it’s a possibility.” Phi crossed her arms. “Maybe this is a space vessel, and we were all sent here ahead of time to play this AB game.”

“But then you’re saying we were sent off… something like forty or fifty years in advance.” Sigma crossed his arms in turn. “Why the hell would Zero Sr. launch us out into space, and put us on this game, with all those decades passing in the meantime?”

“Not sure.” Phi looked at him encouragingly. “But we could be closer to figuring it all out, now. I’d be willing to bet, no matter what, there’s a bigger secret hiding behind your aging. It’s a lead for us to go on, at least.”

 _They don’t make em any better than Phi_ , Sigma thought. _She’s really trying to keep my spirits up._

“Anyway, we should get going,” Phi said. “Lagomorph told me he’d have something for us to check out on floor B.”

“Well, after you.” Sigma motioned her on.

“Age before beauty.” Phi motioned right back. “I figure I should have your back in case you throw it out.”

Sigma stood, and took several leisurely steps to Phi’s door. “Go fuck yourself.”

***

Lagomorph had made one thing clear overnight: he was just as serious about Phi’s planned funerals as Phi was.

Sigma and Phi marveled at all of the preparations. They were in the B. Garden, the room Sigma had seen in those flashes of himself with Luna that he’d never personally experienced. An artificial stream rolled across the room, and a large tree overlooked the diverse other plants.

Five rectangular holes in the grassy area of the room held five newly-welded metal coffins. Frosted glass covered the head end of the coffins, so that they could see which body had been placed in which coffin. Small grave markers, also made of metal, had been stuck in the ground, with the names written along the markers horizontally. The markers, however, had been inserted into the ground vertically, which made the names a bit difficult to read.

Sigma tried not to ask how many of these preparations Lagomorph had made Luna make during the night. Then again, he guessed, she didn’t exactly need to sleep. At least not as much as humans.

There were two other notable details of the room that Sigma was sure were specific to the day’s observances. One, a screen had been wheeled into the room; Sigma assumed this was so Lagomorph could attend the funerals with his own rabbity avatar. The other was the coffin that lay askew, and unburied, a ways off. Sigma didn’t have to work hard to guess who was in that coffin, based on Lagomorph’s attitude from the day before.

Luna was there, and she wore a formal dress that made Sigma feel quite underdressed for these funerals.

 _I guess she just has that lying around, then_.

The screen buzzed on. “Well, here we are,” Lagomorph said. “Sigma, do you want to start us off with a few words before we memorialize everyone individually?”

“No ‘Siggy’ this time?” Sigma jabbed.

“We’re at a multiple funeral!” Lagomorph scolded. “Read the room, ya twit!”

“Me reading the room isn’t the problem,” Sigma said. “I’m just surprised you would do the same.”

“Unbelievable,” Lagomorph scoffed. “This is not the time nor the place to be airing dirty laundry. I expected more maturity to have developed in your several decades of life.”

“Not you too,” Sigma groaned. “Alright, fine. Phi, Luna, Lagomorph, we’ve gathered here to remember lives lost. Five… or six… of our contemporaries have passed from this life. Today, we will honor their lives and remember their sacrifice.”

“Hey, that was pretty good.” Phi patted him on the shoulder.

“Thanks! I pulled it out of my ass.”

Luna now spoke up, for the first time: “Would anyone mind if I made a statement of my own, before we move to individual eulogies?”

“I would mind,” Lagomorph said.

“Overruled.” Sigma tried to smile gently at Luna. Internally, he was self-conscious about how his older face would change his expressions. Then again, Luna had no face at the moment, so maybe Sigma didn’t need to be so picky. “Go ahead, Luna.”

“Thank you, Sigma.” Luna straightened herself out. “We lost good people in this AB Game. The four of us are all being affected in different ways by these losses, but I know that we are, in fact, all being affected. The actions on the part of the organizers of this game were necessary to help save the human race. That’s the only knowledge that we can find solace in. The cost proved to be painfully high. And so… I’m sorry. To all of you. In a fairer world, none of this would have needed to happen.”

 _Blew me right out of the water_ , Sigma thought.

“Anything to add, Phi?” Lagomorph asked.

“You know, I’m not really sure this faux politeness suits you.”

“Your addition has been noted. Sigma, shall we start with Alice?”

Sigma stepped forward, to look down at the coffin where Alice’s lifeless face peered out. “I didn’t have the privilege of knowing Alice for long, but I think of myself as a good judge of people. Everything I knew about Alice told me she was a remarkable person. No doubt she had a great sense of logic, and quick humor. She was taken from us far too soon.”

“For a human, she had an amazing grasp on mathematical computations,” Lagomorph added. “I appreciated that.”

“I think now we should have a moment of silence for Alice,” Sigma said.

The three attendees with a physical form bowed their heads, and the group gave Alice their quiet contemplation for several seconds. The only sound was that of the small stream. The thought occurred to Sigma that this wasn’t a bad place to be buried. Hopefully, Alice wouldn’t have objected.

What struck Sigma as horribly unjust was that nobody there was _really_ memorializing Alice. She had an entire life of work, of dreams, of _who even knew what_ that they couldn’t begin to remark on.

“Luna, do you have a eulogy you want to give for Clover?” Lagomorph asked.

“Even for you, that’s a new level of sadistic,” Phi said.

Sigma was inclined to agree. Not only did Luna blame herself for Clover’s death, but Clover had ‘killed’ Luna, too.

“Actually, Phi, there are a few things I’d like to say,” Luna said.

“See?” Lagomorph offered a sardonic shrug. “I was being considerate.”

“Sure, sure,” Sigma grumbled.

“Have you forgotten that I know everything Luna’s thinking at all times?”

He had a point, but Sigma didn’t have to like it.

“…Anyway.” Luna took a step towards where Clover’s coffin lay. “As for Clover Field, I’ve heard a lot about her. About how she survived two Nonary Games, to be exact. I was… hoping maybe she was a kind of good luck charm, and that she’d be lucky enough to survive a third. I wish she could have been here with us, to tell us in her own words about her brother, and how she’d navigated life with him, or about her own efforts to save humanity.”

Sigma looked down at Clover’s face. _She_ was trying to save humanity, too? Was she Zero, or affiliated with Zero?

No, that wouldn’t have made any sense. But nothing made any sense anymore, regardless, so Sigma pocketed that thought for later.

“There’s only one person here that I think I could eulogize decently,” Phi said after another silent moment. “At least, he saved my and Sigma’s lives. Would it be alright if I said a few words about K?”

“He _did_ save our lives,” Sigma added.

“Sure thing,” Lagomorph said. “I’m not your boss. But maybe you should consider using his actual name.”

Phi stepped toward K’s metal rod of a headstone, craning her neck for an angle that would let her read it. “Kyle Klim.”

“Wait, what?!” Sigma scrambled forward to read the name for himself. “What? What?” It was as Phi had said. His name was Kyle Klim. He was apparently buried in his metal suit, and Sigma wouldn’t find out what his face looked like under that mask. “You’re telling me K and I have the same last name?”

“I guess so,” Phi answered. “Relative of yours?”

“Not one that I know.” Sigma rubbed one hand against his mouth. “But ‘Klim’ isn’t exactly a common last name. This can’t be a coincidence, can it?”

“Maybe he’s just some distant cousin.” Phi stared down at K’s mask. “Or a twin you got separated from at birth. Maybe Zero wanted to reunite the two of you?”

“If so, he did a pretty awful job. K was behind a mask, and he’d lost his memory. Looking back, there’s no reason to think we’d ever figure out the connection.”

Lagomorph made a theatrical clearing of the throat. “So, this is all a little bit hilarious to listen to, but do you think we could get back to the funeral we have hoppening ear?”

“You know, your rabbit motif keeps degenerating more and more by the hour,” Phi said. “Maybe you should think about being a different animal? Just to keep things fresh.”

“Rude.”

“But you’re right.” Phi looked back down at ‘Kyle.’ “When K told me he felt a connection to me, I shot him down. Intuition and insight are bullshit, I told him. Well, that’s how I’ve always felt. You can’t judge a person until you’ve seen their actions. And _his_ actions…”

She trailed off. It sounded to Sigma like she’d become briefly overwhelmed by what she wanted to say.

“Well, it’s like I’ve said,” she continued. “He saved our lives. He knew that Sigma and I weren’t going to step out of harm’s way, so he strong-armed us to safety. And… I’m glad he did. Even if I don’t think I’d change anything that I did at the time, he’s the reason Sigma and I are able to fight on.”

“I agree with every word of that,” Sigma said. “I may not know much about him, I may have just found out he’s probably related to me, but I could tell you without a doubt that Kyle was a good person.”

“You don’t even know the half of it,” Lagomorph added.

“You’re right, I don’t, him having the same last name as me is really tripping me out here and—”

“He was incredible.” Lagomorph ignored Sigma. “Even from my heavenly throne, I admired him. He defied the odds and developed every virtue you humans pretend to value.”

“I’m… going to miss him,” Luna said quietly. “He was everything the three of you have said he was, and he was a good friend.”

 _A friend?!_ Sigma’s head was swimming, and he focused for a few seconds on not collapsing from the confusion. _I hate being old. But this… maybe-relative of mine was friends with Luna?!_

For the third time, though, they held a moment of silence. Here lay someone that they could all agree, without doubt, was a beacon of virtue. That he couldn’t be with them was incredibly painful.

“Are we taking turns? I guess we’re taking turns.” Lagomorph’s eyes fell on Tenmyouji. “Junpei Tenmyouji. I didn’t have time to draft this one, so someone will have to revise this eulogy later. For everything Moony and I heard about Clover, we heard ten times as many things about Tenmyouji. Real upstanding guy, we hear.”

“He gave up his life’s mission to take care of Quark,” Luna continued. “Just so that Quark would have a home. It’s one of the most selfless things I’ve ever heard of anyone doing.”

“Yeah,” Lagomorph said tersely. “And then you let him die.”

“ ** _Lagomorph_**.” Sigma shot a death glare in the direction of Lagomorph’s screen.

“You’re the only one here who doesn’t blame Moony for what hoppened to Tenmyouji and Clover,” Lagomorph pointed out.

“…I hate to say it, but he’s right,” Luna admitted.

Sigma looked to Phi. “Is that so?”

Phi stared at him for a moment, before spreading her arms defensively. “I guess I need to see some more facts first, okay?”

“Unbelievable…” Sigma ran a hand through his hair. “Lagomorph, I’m ordering you to stop belittling Luna.”

“No can do, friendaroni. I’m assuming what you did yesterday is a standing threat, and if you’re going to throw your life in front of Moony, that stops me from deactivating her, but the first law of robotics still stands.”

“You’re doing this because a human life is in danger?” Sigma asked.

“Well, _duh_.” Lagomorph rolled his virtual eyes. “If I don’t keep reminding you two how incompetent Moony is, you might let your guard down. Rely on her too much. Let her fail _you_ , same way she’s failed everybody else.”

Luna was silent. Sigma wanted so badly to be able to take decisive action. According to G-OLM, the Gaulems were capable of feeling physical pain. Why, oh why, couldn’t Lagomorph have been given the same functionality?

“Akane Kurashiki,” Lagomorph said unprompted. “The final one out of these five for us to remember.”

“So you did know her,” Sigma said.

“ _Know_ her? She was one of the architects of my software, Siggy.”

“‘Siggy’ again? What happened to reading the room?”

“I’m still reading the room. It’s turned into a shithole.”

“So are we planning to ignore the bombshell Lagomorph dropped just now, or what?” Phi interrupted.

“Nah, I heard him.” Sigma frowned. “It’s just, on the scale of things I’ve learned in the last day, that was one of the least surprising or interesting.”

“Save the reviews for after the eulogy is complete.” Lagomorph cleared his throat. “As I was saying, I’ve lost a mother in this game. She helped me get where I am today, and it’s hard for any kid to have to grow past where their parents brought them. But I think she did oka—”

Lagomorph went quiet mid-syllable.

“Yes?” Sigma prompted.

Several more silent seconds, before Lagomorph answered. “Just hit a little snag in my programming. No biggy, Siggy.”

Sigma wondered about that. Some time before, Lagomorph had pretended to cry somewhat obnoxiously, but, of course, if he were _actually_ overwhelmed by emotion, there’s no reason to think his response would be similar to a human’s.

Was that what just happened? He’d be in good company, if so.

“I’m going to miss her, every day, from now on,” Luna said. “She gave so much of herself, her whole life, just to give humanity some hope. How could anyone have…”

Sigma stepped past Phi to Luna, and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him, not making another sound. Graciously, Lagomorph and Phi didn’t say anything about it. Sigma only looked down at the coffin holding Akane Kurashiki, silently thanking her for everything she’d apparently done in life, and held Luna to himself.

“Phi, would you mind wheeling me over to B.O.?” Lagomorph asked quietly.

“Last I checked, I’m not your workhorse,” Phi said bitterly.

“Sure, but I want to get through this last one on the double. It’s just a few minutes until we have to hold a redo on one of these funerals.”

 _Wh… What the hell does that mean?_ Sigma didn’t take his eyes off Akane Kurashiki, but inside his wheels had started turning. A redo on one of the funerals? What was Lagomorph playing at?

“Here lies Dio, also known as Left, also known as possibly the worst person to ever live,” Lagomorph announced. “I’m guessing Sigma or Phi object if I tried to jettison him into space, so we’ll find some closet we won’t be using and shove him in there. No way am I burying him with everyone he killed.

“But regardless, do not cry for those who have passed. Lettuce rejoice, for we are about to have a better funeral more suited to crying! Because Moony doesn’t really think anything through. Oh, and there will be a reception after the post-funeral funeral. All are invited to partake and remember those we mourn today. Without further ado…!”

A loud double beep sounded above them. The announcer’s voice came on.

“ _The Floor B warehouse door has been opened. Possible intruder alert. It is advised that all remaining participants of the Nonary Game evacuate to Floor A immediately.”_

“Someone…?” Sigma looked around, meeting eyes with Phi.

“The door opened?!” Phi was clearly feeling more optimistic about the possibilities than Sigma was. Sigma was only thinking of who might have arrived to finish off the Nonary Game players. But Phi was ready for the renewed hope of their escape.

“Let’s check it out!” Without waiting for a response from Luna or Lagomorph, Sigma ran for the door. He heard Phi just at his heels.

“Just for today, don’t outrun me, okay?” Sigma jogged on, but he directed his voice back towards Phi. “I can only take so much about being old in one day.”

“Well, we can’t let ourselves be lax in how much we do per day, if you only have so many—”

“That’s _enough_.”

It was then that they arrived to the door to the Floor B warehouse. Sigma swallowed back his apprehension, and opened the door.

Instantly, Sigma and Phi saw who had arrived. It wasn’t a murderer. And it ultimately wasn’t their ticket home, either.

It was Quark.


End file.
